Depression is a .....

Mother Hugger (MSW) - this could be the queen mother swearword.  I heard it this morning on the radio and it was a little naughty and very sarcastic, so it brightened my day!

Let me tell you a little about myself.  I was born a poor black child....(name that movie!).  Ok, not really.  I was born into a middle class American family whom I love dearly.  We all inherit things from the generations before us.  I inherited my fair skin and blonde hair from Mr. Incredible.  My sense of humor from Mommy Dearest.  And my severe depression from someone along the line.  Yep, I'm not ashamed to admit that I was diagnosed with severe depression. 

Shortly after Apple was born, my doctor looked at me and said, "It sounds like your depressed."  I looked at her like she was nuts and didn't think about it again.  Until one day, I cried because the TV broke.  The dumbest reason to cry.  I had a fender bender that morning (there wasn't any damage at all, so no big deal).  The TV broke that night and I cried for 2 days.  I went back to the doctor for some tests.  They have a score sheet on the tests with 20 being moderately depressed.  It goes up to 100 I think.  I scored an 80.  Hmm....maybe there was a problem.

The week started out great, the weather was beautiful.  In the 80's with plenty of sunshine.  Then 2 days ago, it got cloudy and windy.  This morning it was 50 and rainy.  That just doesn't help my depression!  I am also extremely hormonal, so another strike against me.  The final strike is my sister, Kiwi Chick, and her daughter are visiting my parents.  I want to visit them!  Cue the tears!!

But, I'm not going to start a pity party.  To "restart" my attitude, today I will do some service.  That is the best cure when you're depressed.  I will make my pork roast and mashed potatoes for my dinner group.  Nothing like a little comfort food to help with depression (a big no-no!).  Then I will serve my family by defrosting my freezer in the basement.  This, along with my medicine, B-12 shots and vitamin D will keep the wallowing at bay.

Depression can totally suck, but lets face it, that's life.  Life is hard.  Get over it!  We all have our struggles, whether it's physically, mentally, emotionally or financially.  We learn to deal with them and move on.  I deal with my depression and do pretty well. 

Even this morning, life was looking up.  I had a piece of lemon crumb cake.  I was not drowning my sorrows with food!  No!  The lemon-y goodness brightens my palette, therefore brightening my mood, my thoughts, my soul, my....yea, even I don't believe that.  I couldn't write that with a straight face!  I will be better!  I promise!