Various Forms of Torture

!!@#%&* (MSW) - this is cartoon swearing.

I had a very special experience yesterday.  By "special," I mean horrible.  Terrible.  Painful.  You name the adjective, it was that.  The sad thing is, I was so looking forward to it!

What was the experience?  I went to a personal trainer.  Where I work, they have gym available to all the employees.  Along with the gym, you can sign up for personal training.  It is all paid for by the company.  How's that for awesome benefits?!  Well, almost 5 years after I started working, I figured I could use some help keeping on track with my exercise and diet.  So I signed up for the initial fitness assessment.  I was so excited.  I mean, people pay tons of money for something like this.  And I'm getting it for free!

It started out great.  Weight, height.  Lunges, push-ups and some weight training.  Then they had me see what distance I would run in 10 minutes with 5 minutes of warm up and cool down.  Nothing too hard, but it got my blood pumping and me sweating.  Great workout!

Then the trainer said, OK, lets roll you out.  I've seen others do this with the trainers.   It looks like a great massage.  They have you roll on a dense foam "pillow."  She wanted to see what muscles were tight.  The trainer had me start on my calves.  Put the "pillow" under your ankle on the right leg and take you left leg and cross it over.  So you're only working one leg at a time.  Easy peasy!

Holy cow, it hurt.  I didn't think I was so tight.  Then they had me do my backside (butt!).  Not bad at all.  So contrary to popular opinion, I'm not a tight a**!  Then my thighs.  A little bit of pain, but not nearly as bad as my calves.  Then for the killer, my hips.  Holy crap, pain!  So much pain!  Too make it worse, the trainer said, I'll roll you out on those areas.  This involves a long flexible rolling pin of sorts.  The trainer rolls that over your muscles for you.  I thought, great, a massage!  This is the best thing ever!

So NOT a massage!  Pain.  Intense pain.  Holy cow, I almost started crying.  Misery, aches and  shooting spasms up my legs!  That was just my calves.  She was going to "roll out" my hips as well.  Aagh!

I gave birth to 2 of my kids without drugs.  I am tough.  I am no wimp.  My age must have changed that status.  This was not a slight discomfort or small twinge.  It was TORTURE!!  Holy !!@#%&*!!!

I couldn't sleep last night.  My legs and hip hurt.  I'm so sore this morning too.  The sad thing, I'm doing this again in a few days!  And again next week!  I am nuts!!  To add salt to my wound, I have an appointment with my DTD (Down There Doctor) today as well!  !!@#%&*

Spring?!

Utah Oddity - The Weather

I know what you're thinking!  The weather is odd everywhere.  True, it is.  But I swear it's weirder than normal here.  

If you don't like the weather now.....wait five minutes!

For instance, a few weeks ago I went to see my son at his track meet.  It was 80 outside and beautiful. I even got sunburned.  A day later, yes, JUST a day later, it snowed.  What in the world is up with that?!  How can the weather change so dramatically in 24 hours.  It doesn't make sense.  From 80 degrees to 32 degrees.  Drives me crazy!

I know that the mountains make a difference here.  I can stay at my home at 4000 ft of elevation and travel 1/2 hour and be at 8000 ft elevation and the weather will be different.  But I'm not doing that!  The track meet was in the next city over!!

“Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.” 

I like the weather in Utah usually.  It just the crazy spring and fall over the past several years that is freaky.  We go from 30-40 degree weather to 70-80 degree weather.  I swear nothing in between.  What about the 60ish weather.  I love sweatshirts and spring jackets.  But I don't ever get to wear them.  Of course, at night it get's down in the 60's on a hot day.  But it's not the same!  I want my spring and fall back!!

Happy Day!

Drat!  (MSW) - you can use any expletive you want!

It's a happy day here!  Why?  Well, Easter is over, so spring break is over and the kids are back in school.  Really, what could be better!!  Yeah!

Easter is becoming another holiday I dread.  No presents but the kids are home and hyped up on sugar.  What happens?!  Well they start fighting and go from sugar highs to sugar lows.  That, combined with  a lack of sleep, makes crabby children and a crabby mommy.

Sugar makes my kids rude.  Not only to each other, but to ME!  The one that gave them life!  The one that went thru labor!  With no drugs!  I was going to get my daughters nice Easter dresses.  But decided that the way they were treating me and each other, they didn't deserve it.  I hope that teaches them a lesson.  It did, at least for 24 hours.  Let's see if it will stick with them!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Heavenly Father makes your kids cute, so you won't beat them!  I think we are just better behaved when we have a more set schedule.  They say kids like routine and schedules.  It works better for them.  Unfortunately, I'm more of a laid back, easy going, free for all, kind of girl which makes schedules a little hard.  But I'm learning.  I'm getting better every day!

I figure I'll have it down to a science when my youngest is out of the house.  Sounds about right, hey?  Life....ain't it great!