Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Taking Offense

Utah Oddity - taking offense

I love Utah.  The mountains, the weather, the people.  It's great.  But people are funny.  I'm sure it is not just in Utah.  People get offended quite often here.   I don't get offended easily.  So I don't understand that.

If my neighbor doesn't wave at me as I pass by, it doesn't bug me.  Why should it?  Maybe she was yelling at the kids in the back seat.  Maybe she is trying to remember the stuff on her grocery list.  I don't care.  Others do care.  They get offended by this.

I think we need to remember that we are all human.  We all have issues and troubles.  If I don't wave at you, it's because I'm thinking about something else.  It's not because I don't like you or I'm mad at you.  Most likely it's because I'm pretty goofy and I'm not paying attention like I should.

Like I said, I don't understand why people are always offended by others.  I just don't get offended by much.  I would love to say it's because I am wise and smart.  But I'm not!  The funny thing is, someone will take offense at this blog post as well.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Drama at the OK Corral

Oh my sin! (MSW) - another term for oh h-e-double hockey sticks.

We had a bit of drama at our house the other day.  We always have some drama because, let's face it, it's a house with 3 girls, 2 of which are hormonal.  The 3rd girl, though only 8 years old, is the worst!  But this amount of drama is very rare in our home.  Where do I begin?

It started with Apple.  She had a doctor's appointment on Monday for the dermatologist.  She has several very small cysts on her face.  They kind of look like acne, but they don't go away.  I thought maybe they were warts of something.  But luckily it wasn't that!  This was our second visit for them.  Last time they gave her some special injection into the cyst to make them disappear.  It worked for all of them but one.   So we went back in.  They decided to surgically remove the cyst in an easy office procedure.  They numbed the area and cut the thing out.  It was kind of cool actually.  I guess I missed my calling to be a doctor!  This wasn't too dramatic.  She did great and home we went.

Apple, who is 15, decided when we got home that her and her friend would take the dogs (Patches and Rufus) for a walk.  Off they went!  I didn't think twice about it.  About a 1/2 hour later, I was talking with my sister in law who lives 5 houses down the road.  She looked outside and saw Apple crying and thought I better get down there.  Crying wasn't exactly what she was doing.  Bawling or sobbing would the correct term.  A tad bit hysterical possibly.  But for good reason.

While out on the walk, a large dog, about 105 lbs, got out of his yard and attacked my 15 lb puggle, Rufus.  The dog picked up Rufus, from the back hind quarters, and shook him like a rag doll.  The dogs were on a leash, so there was no reason for this dog to do it.  But the dog must have seen them, got out of his house somehow, and decided it was his territory.

Apple was very brave.  She kicked the dog several times.  Our bigger dog, Patches, attacked the dog and got him to let Rufus go.  Once Rufus was loose, Apple grabbed him and started to run away.  Patches had to be pried loose and her friend grabbed him and started running as well.  It is lucky that the dog didn't hurt them or chase after them.  There were several 5 and 6 year old kids there too.  Luckily the dog didn't attack them.

I ran down there to see her crying and carrying the dog.  Blood was on her coat.  Her and her friend were so upset.  Can you blame them?  Meanwhile, my younger kids saw me running down the street and followed me.  They saw the blood and started bawling.  So, I'm in the middle of the street with 3 of my kids crying on the verge of hysteria.  Oscar came out of the house along with Macaroni to see what was up.

Macaroni heard the story, grabbed the scooter, and took off  down the road where the dog attacked ours.  I think his plan was to beat the living snot out of the dog with the scooter.  I can't be too sure, but from the look on his face, I gather that was his intention.  Luckily the "big bad dog" was brought in the house by his owners.  Oscar meanwhile took the whining dog and went home to wash him off.  After about 45 minutes the crying and drama calmed down.

While Oscar cleaned up the dog, I went and talked to the owners of the big bad dog.  They felt awful and expressed that the dog never had done anything like it.  I don't know if I believed them or not, but their heart was in the right place.  They were concerned for the dogs and the girls.

We thought Rufus was OK at first.  He was sore and upset, but we couldn't see him bleeding anymore.  Until the next day.  I woke up and saw blood on the floor and could see where the bite marks were bleeding.  Into the vet we went!  $250 later, along with 4 different medicines, Rufus is on the mend!

Poor dog.  Not very fun.  He slept most of the day yesterday, but seems a little more like his obnoxious pita self today.  Oh the joys of pets!

Monday, February 27, 2012

I love my teenagers!

Blickity, blickity blue (MSW) - this is another one I use when I'm frustrated.  Use any naughty word of your choice as a substitute.

I love my teenager.  Macaroni.  I love him.  This, however, is not a statement.  This is a reminder.

The other day, my lovely teen left for a basketball game.  In my car.  In a hurry.  And not paying attention.  His first accident occurred.  The basketball hoop and the side view mirror were casualties in the crime.  The basketball hoop survived with no scratches or harm.  My side view mirror, not so much.  It is holding on by a thread.  Not really a thread, some wire.  And now, when I go anywhere, the mirror bangs against the car.  It is more than just annoying.  Hence, the reminder, I love my teenager.

I will have to take the car in to get it fixed.  Macaroni is not too happy that he will have to pay for it.  But that is the curse of a teenager!  Get a freaking job so you can pay for the damage to the car!!

This reminds me of a story that I heard of years ago.  It is one of those stories that teaches a lesson.  The story is short and sweet and goes like this.  Never, I mean NEVER, talk about what you will do with unexpected money.  You know, like a tax return, a bonus, an inheritance.  Never talk about it in front of appliances, in your house or in your car.  You see, the fridge, the TV, the roof and the car, they hear everything.  They have ears and totally have it out for you.  For when you talk about the money in front of it (them), they will break.  And break your heart because the money will be gone!

We got our tax return the other day.  We must have talked about it in the car.  Blickity, Blickity blue!

Friday, February 17, 2012

Ultrasound on the twins!!

Shiz (MSW) - Another term for a sh**.

This was my facebook status a couple days ago.  I am so evil.  I wanted to see how many people would think I was knocked up.  I'm not by the way.  I just like to stir up trouble.

But I did have an ultrasound.  On the twins, the girls, the huge tracks of land, the bodacious ta-ta's, the boobs.  I've been getting mammograms since I was 35 because of my family history.  Last year was the first year I was called back in after my mammogram.

When you get a call from the doctor's office saying there was something suspicious on the mammogram, you get a little nervous.  Of course, you think the worst  --  I have cancer and I'm dying.  But I'm here to tell you, don't stress!  I knew my family history of breast cancer, so I knew it was a possibility.  But I also know that they are so careful about the tests.  If they see anything strange, they want you to come back and get an ultrasound. The worst is, they call and ask you to come in within the next day or two!  Stress!

This year, again, I was called in because I was suspicious.  I knew it was probably the same thing.  But I thought I would make everyone laugh, so I put that on my facebook page.

I didn't have to worry!  They found several cysts in both of the "girls."  Mommy Dearest hates that term, the girls, the twins, etc...  Sorry Mom, it had to be said!  Anyway, they found several cysts.  Some literally were twins, like on top of each other.  How's that for irony!  All are benign and non-cancerous.  The curse of my big boobs!

I am obnoxious though.  When the doctor, a man, came in to double check the ultrasound techs findings, I said to him, "I usually get dinner and movie before anyone checks on the girls!"  Yep, I'm a little naughty.  He did laugh though.  He said a good sense of humor is great when people come in.  Most are too uptight!

All is good!  But get your mammograms!  They save lives!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Issues!

Gopple Dampin Fruit Dumpsuits (MSW) - this could be anything you imagine it to be!

My life has been out of sorts as of late.  You know how excited I was that I got a laptop for Christmas?  Well, something was wrong with it. Gopple Dampin Fruit Dumpsuits! I had to send it back to the manufacturer.  It was so sad!  3 weeks without my beloved laptop!

It was forever!  I had to go to work without the internet right next to me!  Can you imagine?!  Next thing you know, I'll have to go to work dressed and with makeup on.  The horror!  Let me be clear on that, I do go to work with clothes on, just maybe not work appropriate attire.  Honestly, I work in my pajama's!  The joy of my job!

So there are my issues.  No computer, no internet access, no facebook, no you tube.  I mean, really, can life get any worse.  To actually have to work while I'm working?!  That is way too much to ask!  Yes, I do have a phone that I could use for that stuff.  Or my husbands computer.  But I want my OWN computer with a big screen!!  I'm such a princess!

Now I can fill you in on all the details of my life.  Hmmm........sadly, there isn't much!  My sister, Rocky Mountain High is in town.  My doggie nephew, Jake, is staying with me while she is up in the canyons skiing.  My dog tried to steal Jake's bed again.  Stupid dog!

I hope all of you are having a wonderful Valentine's day.  I bought chocolates for my family.  When they come home, there is a sign on my kitchen table that says "To the Loves of My Life, Happy Valentine's Day!"  There are boxes of chocolates for everyone and the table is covered in hearts and little "I love you" confetti.  Yes, I am the best mother and wife ever!

Thursday, January 26, 2012

My Bedazzled Butt

Utah Oddity - Designer Jeans


Before I get the oddity of the day, I thought I would take the time to let you know of the goings on in the house.  Macaroni got himself grounded from the car.  Apple is shopping like crazy since she had a job.  Had is the key word there.  Cheese is bouncing off the walls since it's been cold outside.  And Whine is obviously not getting enough sleep because she's been a little crabby lately.  And by little, I mean a lot!  The more things change the more they stay the same.  I'm trying a new recipe for dinner group.  So my neighbors are my guinea pigs.  Sorry guys!  And Oscar has been busy with his church calling and work.  Last week he helped a neighbor move into a new house.  Oh the joys of his calling!  Just glad it's not me!

So, in Utah, you see a lot of women wearing designer jeans.  And they wear them everywhere.  (I almost typed everywear......a little play on words for you!)  Designer jeans are not cheap.  They can cost up to $300 dollars.  You know the ones right?  They have thick stitching, usually in orange, blue or white.  They have jewels sewn on the back pockets.  I admit, they are really cute.  Of course, if you're a size 0-6, everything looks cute on you.  You're tiny!  Skinny little #@$#@#!


I see these cute tiny women all the time.  They usually have a few kids with them.  The kids are are dressed in clothes more expensive than my grocery bill.  They look like these perfect little families.  Cute, thin, immaculately dressed, perfect people.  I just laugh.  I laugh because I know that they are not perfect.  They probably are lonely, or struggling or sad.  I laugh because, even though they look so cute, I know that they, like everyone else has their struggles.  I laugh hysterically when I see a woman, with her $300 jeans on, going into Walmart.  Really?!  You can spend hundreds of dollars on jeans but you're shopping at Walmart?  I laugh also, because if you ask any one of them, they will say "I got them online for 1/2 the price!"  Or, "I got them on sale!"  So basically, we want to look like we are wealthy, rich people, when we are not.  Oh, Utah.  You're so funny!

I have to quit laughing though.  You know why?  I bought a pair!  Just what I need, a pair of jeans that is going to emphasize my big old backside.  I'll make sure to go to Walmart in them.  But it's OK, I got them on sale!!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Back to school!!

Crapola  (MSW) - see also, crap.

After 3 LONG weeks, the kids are all back in school.  I want to celebrate!  I want to rejoice!  I want to dance and sing in the streets!  I want to go to bed!  And yes, I will do that last one.  Tomorrow morning.....can't wait!  Even as I wrote this, my teenager comes home from high school with his cousin for lunch.  See, they are always here!!  Aagh!

This year we are trying something a little different.  I now have Saturday's off again.  Another reason to rejoice!!  So I made a list of wants and needs for the house.  Like, painting a bedroom....that's a want.  Putting up closet doors in my kids room....that's a need.  (Since we finished our basement about 10 years ago, I made it a need.....hello?! 10 years with no closet doors!!)  We also put activities on the want list....like go to Jump On It ( a trampoline place), mall, movies, etc....  So every time we get some things done on the need list, we can reward ourselves.  I hope it will work out.  I want to do this every month to encourage some productivity around here and get everyone's help.  And just so we are clear, it's not really a honey do list!  Both Oscar and I are doing them....or at least we're trying to.  He is better at some things that I am and vice-versa.

A couple things on my need list:

Closet doors ....  DONE!!!
Organize den .... in progress.....everyday Oscar is going thru papers and shredding things....yeah!!
Organize laundry room ... in progress.....took all the mis-matched socks and matched them.  Any extras I threw away!  Very liberating!!  (a great idea from my neighbor!!)
Organize Whine's bedroom ... DONE!!  (with some help from Apple)

A few things from the want list that we did this weekend:

Classic skating
Going to Charlotte Russe in the mall

I hope this want versus need thing works out well.  The kids are excited to put stuff on the want list that's for sure.  It's getting the need list finished as well that will be the hard part.  Crapola!

Friday, January 13, 2012

I think I'm so great....

Itshay (MSW) - it's pig Latin for a different word.

You know, I think I'm so great.  I took my kids who are out of school to Classic skating the other day.  Great mom!  I cleaned the house, swept the floor.  Great mom!  I got my coupons organized and put away for my next shopping trip.  Great mom!  I organized all my Tupperware and lids, so every container has a matching lid.  Great mom!  I made a pork roast and baked potatoes for dinner group.  See, great mom!  I even made "green" breakfast smoothies the last 2 days for the family.  Dang, I am so great!!

Oh, how quickly I fall.


I try so hard to stay organized and clutter free.  So hard!   But for the life of me, I can't find the paper listing all the swearwords I thought of for this blog.  I'm been looking with no success.  That is why I haven't written in a while.  I need my cheat-sheet!  Where is it?!!

Every day with the kids home makes the house a disaster area.  I am constantly picking up stuff, doing dishes, laundry.  Go back to school already!

The kids, being out of school, are screaming and yelling at each other.  Satan spawn!

I am trying desperately to loss weight.  It's not coming off as quick as I want it to.  Cheesecake anyone?

The teenagers are going a hundred miles an hour and always need the car.  Dude, get a job and get your own car!!

Along with the teenagers and their busy life, if I see another McDonald's wrapper in the car from your activities, I'm going to scream!  Stop wasting your money!  Plus, I'm on a diet.  If I smell french fries, I'll want them!

Itshay!  I'm falling, and I'm falling fast!!

As always, there is a silver lining.  We did schedule a vacation in May to Disneyland.  Too bad the kids are coming with us!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Funeral Potatoes

Utah Oddity - Funeral Potatoes

I had to make these yummy potatoes for our Christmas Eve dinner.  I love them.  It's probably a recipe that many have used, but in Utah, they are called funeral potatoes.  Why?  Because this is a dish that is served at most Mormon funerals.


When someone of the Latter-day Saint faith (Mormon) passes away, the family gathers after the funeral for a luncheon.  The people of the church (ward) makes food for the family and serves them.  It is usually a meal of ham, funeral potatoes, salads, veges and dessert.  But almost ALWAYS the potatoes are there.  It is the best comfort food.  And comfort food is what is needed after a loved one has passed away.  I have been on both the receiving end and the giving end of this tradition.

When I first moved to Utah, I had these at some dinner function.  I remember thinking that those were so good!  Since then, I see them everywhere.  And I make them quite a bit.  Several years ago, I heard them being called funeral potatoes and the name stuck.  Actually, during the 2002 Winter Olympics in SLC, one of the souvenirs included a pin with an image of my beloved funeral potatoes!  Man, I wish I would've found that pin!  Yummy!  I'll even include the recipe for you!


Ingredients

How to make it

  • Grease 9x13 baking dish and preheat oven to 350
  • In large bowl combine soups, sour cream, cheese, onions, and the 1/2 cup of melted butter.
  • Gently fold hash browns into mixture.
  • Pour mixture into pan.
  • Combine crushed corn flakes and the 2 Tbs. of melted butter and sprinkle on top of potato mixture.
  • Bake for 30 minutes.
  • *If wanting to, you can use cubed potatoes instead of hash browns but you will need to increase baking time to 55 minutes.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Finally!

Heck Yeah!  (MSW) - it's another word for h-e double hockey sticks.  In this case, it is supposed to be the better phrase for he__ yeah!

About 2 weeks ago, something disastrous happened at our house.  It was horrible.  The world as we know it was crumbling around me.  I had lost all meaning of life.  I cried and wept for days on end.  I couldn't eat.  I couldn't sleep.  I had lost everything.  You see, the worst thing ever had happened.  My laptop broke.  I know.... horrendous, right?

But by Christmas, all was made right.  Oscar had gotten me a "new" laptop for the holiday!  So my days are brighter and all is right with the world again. It is "new" because it is actually refurbished by the manufacturer.  But, hey, it's new to me.  Wow, I am such a princess!

Christmas Eve was spent with Oscar's family.  My sister-in-law who lives down the street had us all over for the holiday.  We ate a wonderful dinner and then acted out the Nativity.   All the kids got involved.  Macaroni, since he is 16, didn't want to, so he and the other older cousins were the narrators.  It's so cute to see them dressed up.  The girls love to be the angels; the boys, the wise guys.

Next was present time.  All of the kids got hats and gloves from Grandma and Grandpa (Momma and Papa Bear).  Then they had picked names and exchanged gifts with the cousins.  The adults do that as well.  Oscar got a nice new tie and I received body spray and lotion.  It was a wonderful evening.  Unfortunately, Papa Bear couldn't be there.  He was recently released from the hospital and is recovering from pneumonia.  We didn't want a relapse!!  We missed him, but want him to be healthy!

I talked with my parents back in Wisconsin using Skype.  I tried talking to my sisters as well, but couldn't get a hold of them.  The Kiwi Princess was probably at her beach house in New Zealand.  Rocky Mountain High I think was snowmobiling.  Fun for both of them!!  My brothers are all well too.  My one brother, Mr. Neat Guy, had some surgery right before the holiday and is recovering nicely.  The other 2 spent the day with my parents and their significant others.  I miss the family of course, but knowing that they are safe and healthy makes the holiday better.

Heck Yeah!  We had a good holiday and are looking forward to a fun and happy new year!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Elf on a Shelf

Scrooge (MSW) - very similar to Grinch.  Use the  same expletive!

My friend sent this to me this morning.  Yep, this is something I would've done when the kids were younger. 
This is what happens when the naughty TOY STORY bear takes charge of the Lego People!

See, I'm not the only Grinch or scrooge around!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Mack and the Mo Tabs!

Another spiritual Sunday is upon us.  It was a great day but I'm a little sad.  You see, I am no longer the nursery leader at church.  I love those cute 18 month old to 3 year old kids.  They have been so fun.  Their smiles and hugs gave gotten me through so many weeks.  So I'm a little sad.  My new calling though will be to work with the older kids.  Not much older though!  I'll have the 3-4 year old kids.  Still adorable and cute.  They just are more vocal.  That could be bad!  But I'm sure it'll be great.

This has been a hard week.  I've been trying to get everything finished before Christmas.  The problem is, once I think I've taken care of a loose end, the other end comes loose!  And really, why in the world do the elementary schools have to have a Christmas program for the parents?  I'd rather have a Halloween program or a Thanksgiving/Christmas program.  But no! They have to do a special program for the parents to come and "enjoy."  The week that all heck is breaking loose and the family is crazy stressed and busy.  Cheese did his this week.  And it was cute and he was cute.  But honestly, that's an hour of my life I'll never get back!  Whine's is this week.  Calgon.....take me away!


Mormon Tabernacle Choir

The good news is that I may have found a piece of light and joy among the Christmas craziness.  My sister in law got last minute tickets to "Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir."  I call the choir, Mack and the Mo Tabs.  Mack Wilberg was a choir director at Brigham Young University when I was a student.  He is so talented and I love watching him conduct.  I loved it when I got to sing with him in college.  It was a great treat.  So, now that he conducts the tabernacle choir, I re-named them, Mack and the Mo Tabs.  This year the Christmas concert featured Jane Seymour and Nathan Gunn.    
Nathan Gunn
Jane Seymour
It was awesome!  There is nothing like beautiful music and wonderful stories of the true meaning of Christmas.  Jane Seymour was a narrator of sorts and told the stories, not only of Christ's birth, but of the song Good King Wenceslas.  Of course the choir and Nathan Gunn sang beautiful music that went along with the stories.  It lifted my grinch-y spirit quite a bit.  So much that I actually baked cookies today.  It's a Christmas miracle!!


Life is good.  So good that I have to share this video.  You have to watch it to the very end!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Total and complete Grinch!

Grinch (MSW) - a bi**h.  Or someone who hates the holidays.  Unfortunately, I'm a little of both.

I told you about my holiday shopping already.  But I have to tell you I'm a bit of a grinch.  Sadly, in both ways.  Quite frankly, I hate the holidays.  People always ask me why.  Hmm....let me think. 

First, I'm a mother.  What does that have to do with it?  Hello?!  I do the cooking.  I do the cleaning.  I do the shopping and wrapping.  I have to think of what to even get the monsters before I do the shopping.  On top of that, I pay for it all.  Then after the "beautiful Christmas morning" is over, I get to hear the complaints that they didn't get what they wanted!  And inevitably, someone is always telling me they got the wrong thing, the wrong size or something.  So I am a grinch.  I am crabby and don't look forward to it much.

But I do love seeing the lights and singing along with the music.  I love seeing the joy on kids faces (just maybe not my kids!).  So maybe I'm not a total grinch after all.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Has to be done.

No word or oddity today.  I just have to post this link.

WARNING:  The following video may be offensive to some ears.  It contains language that some may deem inappropriate.  It is not necessarily the views of this blogger.


Oh, who am I kidding?!  It's hilarious!